Hello! My name is Simon Quinlank!


As you should know by now I am the Duke of Hobbies. This is better than all other hobby nobility because they are only marquises or earls of hobbies and Dukes get to wear nicer coronets than them. Ha! I am here tonight to tell you of a new hobby which you all can do, and here is what you will need for this hobby:
–A computer with internet connection
–A printer
–A pair of ears
–A flask of weak lemon drink

This hobby is called ‘Being a fan of that super up and coming group the Donutsh’. In order to do this hobby you first need to go to the Donutsh’ website and see where they’re playing next. Today I see their next gig is at the 229 in London on Thursday 19th May — ha! Perfect. Then you need to find the flyer for their gig, which is usually on the website too, unless the band have been crap and forgotten to get their webmistress to put it up in time. Print a copy off, and off you go to the gig! You might like to drink your flask of weak lemon drink on the way, as some venues don’t like you bringing your own drink in and arguing with security guards may spoil your enjoyment of the Donutsh’ piquant original compositions.

When you get to the venue you need to go to the man on the door and say “Is this the venue where the Donutsh are playing a gig tonight? ANSWER ME!” If he says yes you show him a copy of the flyer, pay him and go inside. And then you listen to the music! If you’re really enthusiastic about this hobby you can dance while they play. But if you want to declare your eternal love for the Donutsh, or rub yourself all over Camrath’s lithe muscular body, it is best to wait till they’ve finished the set.

And that is all from me about this hobby! Isn’t it a cracking hobby!

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