Why is it that every time we have a gig in the winter, it snows? It hardly seems like a year ago when our very, very first live show ever got snowed off entirely…

Thankfully the snow started too late to completely wreck our Water Rats gig last night, and we got a good showing — extra credit to all the brave souls who showed up from as far afield as Southend and Kingston. To all those who couldn’t make it owing to the weather, don’t worry, we understand (just come to the next gig instead, you lightweights…)

It was a pretty great night — not a duff band on the bill, a decent venue with a sound system and engineer that actually worked (this is less common than you might think) and that most intangible of assets to any music venue, an Atmosphere. This last can only have been assisted, in our case, by the presence of a large blue dog costume called Clive dancing happily up the front throughout our set. If only his name had two syllables we might have been tempted to change “Johnny Don’t Care” to “Clive Don’t Care”. The new songs “Demon Core” and “Drive On, Driver” both went down very-well-thank-you; we’ll be playing both them again, for sure.

We finished the show, staggered outside for a fresh air and fag break… and gazed at the still-falling white mantle of snow that was draping itself upon London like a satin cloak on the shoulders of a pro wrestler. Oh dear, we thought. We’re going to have fun getting home, we thought.

And lo, it was so. Here’s a tip for anyone thinking of forming a band: if you’re going to play gigs in winter, make sure your bassist’s house isn’t at the bottom of a steep hill on an estate with only one way out of it. Or if you must have such a bassist, make sure his house has comfortable sofas. Having almost burnt out Klepsie’s clutch trying to escape from the roughest estate in north London, Klepsie and Shazomei wound up having to spend the night in Camrath’s living room, menaced by his enormous fluffy cat. We repaid his hospitality by drinking his last bottle of Rekorderlig, though, so the night wasn’t entirely a dead loss…

Should have the date of our next London gig confirmed shortly, so watch this space and keep your diaries free for March until we tell you you’re allowed to schedule anything else. Okay? Okay.

As you should know by now I am the Duke of Hobbies. This is better than all other hobby nobility because they are only marquises or earls of hobbies and Dukes get to wear nicer coronets than them. Ha! I am here tonight to tell you of a new hobby which you all can do, and here is what you will need for this hobby:
–A computer with internet connection
–A printer
–A pair of ears
–A flask of weak lemon drink

This hobby is called ‘Being a fan of that super up and coming group the Donutsh’. In order to do this hobby you first need to go to the Donutsh’ website and see where they’re playing next. Today I see their next gig is at the 229 in London on Thursday 19th May — ha! Perfect. Then you need to find the flyer for their gig, which is usually on the website too, unless the band have been crap and forgotten to get their webmistress to put it up in time. Print a copy off, and off you go to the gig! You might like to drink your flask of weak lemon drink on the way, as some venues don’t like you bringing your own drink in and arguing with security guards may spoil your enjoyment of the Donutsh’ piquant original compositions.

When you get to the venue you need to go to the man on the door and say “Is this the venue where the Donutsh are playing a gig tonight? ANSWER ME!” If he says yes you show him a copy of the flyer, pay him and go inside. And then you listen to the music! If you’re really enthusiastic about this hobby you can dance while they play. But if you want to declare your eternal love for the Donutsh, or rub yourself all over Camrath’s lithe muscular body, it is best to wait till they’ve finished the set.

And that is all from me about this hobby! Isn’t it a cracking hobby!